How to write a birth mother letters

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A letter to … my birth mother | Adoption | The Guardian

You don't know me, but I'm your daughter. You couldn't keep me when I was born, and although I wondered about the circumstances, I never questioned that your decision was the best one to make at the time you made it. Growing up without you and the rest of my family was really hard on me, because I was never able to find the place I belonged. I was shuffled about like a misfiled bit of paperwork lost on the desk of a disinterested clerk.
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I always think of you at this time of year. I imagine that many, if not all, mothers who have given their children for adoption are reminded of it around the time of the child's birthday, but the fact that I was born on 31 December must make the date particularly hard to miss each year. While others are reflecting on the successes and failures of the last year, I suspect that you are looking a little further back in time. Having now had three daughters of my own, I can only imagine how difficult a decision it must have been to have me adopted and how lonely you must have felt in hospital that day without a partner or family around to support you. What I want you to know is that you did the right thing.
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This is the tenth post of "30 Adoption Portraits in 30 Days," a series designed to give a voice to people with widely varying experiences, including birthparents, adoptees, adoptive parents, foster parents, waiting adoptive parents and others touched by adoption. I wrote the following letter the week before my son's second birthday. Now 3-and-a-half, Jack is starting to become more aware of his birth story. I wish I had known, really known, in the beginning just how important this woman would be to us. I wish I could rewind seven years and tell my newly paper-pregnant self that a Birth Mother isn't a threat to my own motherhood intellectually I knew, but I still felt shadows of doubt in my heart and I'm not proud of that.
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